Poop Happens

Everybody poops, and some dogs eat it. To the absolute dismay of their doting and loving owners, some dogs just eat sh#$. Today I was sitting at my desk working away and one of my clients called on the verge of tears.

“Brittany, I’m so upset, Rosie ate… poop… human poop. What do I do?”

I’m not very used to this complaint, but at first I breathed a sigh of relief because Rosie didn’t take a chunk out of a human hand. Luckily, she just ate a chunk of poop. At this point, I’ve heard it all, “My dog at my thong, my dog drinks out of the toilet bowl, my dog rolled in a dead seal” and the list goes on.

My own dogs have eaten poop. Taj found a steaming pile of something and Matt was mortified  that his ‘perfect’ dog would do such a thing. Daisy has rolled in a dead rattlesnake carcass, which was the most nasty, musky smelling rank odor I’ve ever experienced. Daisy enjoys dining on cat logs and Taj spends hours licking his balls. And not his tennis balls.

Why do I speak of such evil, vile things? Simply to make a point- that dogs will be dogs. We forget that they are animals and sometimes we need them to swallow a mouthful of poop to remind us that they are not babies dressed in furry dog costumes. Even though we dress them up in silly little outfits and put them in dog strollers, they are still dogs no matter how much they get spoiled with snuggles and spa visits. Dogs need to be treated like dogs. They need to run and play and sniff and smell. And even roll in a dead seagull sometimes.

Dogs will be dogs and men will be men. Matt did confess to me that one time he tried to eat goat poop when he was a baby (good thing he doesn’t really read this nonsense blog) and that he also got his head stuck in a vase another time. Luckily, he’s grown out of such antics. However, this weekend I was really upset with myself because I got so upset over him leaving me, yet again.

He’s been traveling a lot for work and he’s been gone for a good two or three months. He’s been home for the weekends or I’ve met him wherever he is, but still, I’ve been longing for him to be home and to settle into our daily habits again. However, with the snow being so good in Colorado, Matt really wanted to go snowboarding again this weekend. At first, when he told me that he was leaving again I just got really sad. “Why would he want to leave me again? Why doesn’t he want to be home? Am I boring?” etc. As a girl, I just started taking it way too personally. In his mind, he’s thinking, “The snow is good. I have to chase powder. I’m young and want to create these fun memories.” Unfortunately, he’s not thinking, “I love Brittany so much that the powder can wait.” If I’m expecting him to think from my point of view, then I’m always going to be extremely disappointed.

The truth is, I put up such a hissy fit and I acted so childish about him leaving for only two days that I should be embarrassed. I know he loves me and I should want him to be happy. He has been taking me on some amazing trips and I’m the one who couldn’t make this trip even though I was invited.

Boys will be boys and they need to chase the powder, the waves and the good times. I’m with Matt because I love his sense of adventure and his never ending pursuit of fun and happiness. If I’m always a brat or bitchy about him going on fun trips then it’s just going to make him want to stay longer. As long as I’m invited on the trips, I’m happy!

Sometimes, things are poopy, but we just have to get over it and accept it for what it is. Just like death and taxes, poop is one thing we can all count on. On a walk with your dog, you’re not going to have a hysterical breakdown just because your dog pooped right in the middle of the sidewalk. No, you’re going to do the awkward bend-and-snap hoping that someone isn’t looking and you’re going to pick up that poop and act like it’s no big deal! You’ll toss it and forget it and walk on. In life, sh@$ happens and you just have to move on with a big smile on your face and your dog by your side!

I title this photo... Pooping In Purple Flowers.

Pooping In Purple Flowers




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